Hitchhiker's Guide Quotes

Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (submitted by freddiursa)

Arthur Dent, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

Arthur Dent, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

Agda to Arthur Dent, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

Arthur Dent, Fit the Twelfth (The Secondary Phase) of the original radio show. 

Douglas Adams, The Restaurant At The End Of The Universe

Douglas Adams, The Restaurant At The End Of The Universe

Douglas Adam, So Long And Thanks For All The Fish

Douglas Adams, referring to Arthur and Fenchurch, So Long And Thanks For All The Fish

First of all, let’s have some music to listen to, shall we?

Journey of the Sorcerer

Journey of the Sorcerer remix 

And now, to the quotes!  I decided to pick my favourites from the 42nd page of each book.  According to one of the essays in The Anthology At The End Of The Universe there’s a big conspiracy that links to what can be found on the 42nd page.  But I’m not going to talk about that.  I’m just gonna do what I do best: quote!

There might be a few bonus quotes to do with 42 at the end, because I’m just nice like that.  Also I realised halfway through this that this method was perhaps not the best way to go about the 42nd post in this blog.  Oh well.

The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy

One of the things Ford had always found hardest to understand about humans was their habit of continually stating and repeating the very very obvious, as in ‘It’s a nice day’, ‘You’re very tall’, or ‘You seem to have fallen down a thirty-foot well, are you alright?’
At first Ford had formed a theory to account for this strange behaviour. If human beings don’t keep exercising their lips, he thought, their mouths probably seize up. After a few months’ consideration and observation, he abandoned this theory in favour of a new one. If they don’t keep exercising their lips, he thought, their brains start working.
After a while he abandoned this one as well as being obstructively cynical, and decided he quite liked human beings after all, but he always remained desperately worried about the terrible number of things they didn’t know about.

(I’ve already blogged this… oh well.)

“If I asked you where the hell we are,” said Arthur weakly, “would I regret it?”
Ford stood up.  ”We’re safe,” he said.
“Oh good,” said Arthur.
“We’re in a small galley cabin,” said Ford, “in one of the spaceships of the Vogon Constructor Fleet.”
“Ah,” said Arthur.  ”This is some strange usage of the word safe that I wasn’t previously aware of.” 

The Restaurant at The End Of The Universe

An impoverished hitchhiker visiting any planets in the Sirius star system these days can pick up easy money working as a counsellor for neurotic elevators.

“You know something,” Zaphod said to Marvin.
“More than you can possibly imagine.” 

Life, the Universe and Everything

A nightmare storm of blistering light seared through the blackness and smacked a fair bit off the planet directly behind them.

Another world, another day, another dawn.
The early morning’s thinnest sliver of light appeared silently.
Several billion trillion tons of superhot exploding hydrogen nuclei rose slowly above the horizon and managed to look small, cold and slightly damp. 

So long, and thanks for all the fish

From another direction he felt the sensation of being a sheep startled by a flying saucer, but it was virtually indistinguishable from the feeling of being a sheep startled by anything else it ever encountered, for they were creatures that learnt very little in their journey through life, and would be startled to see the sun rising in the morning, and astonished by all the green stuff in the fields.

He left the sheep and let his mind drift outwards sleepily in developing ripples.  It felt the presence of other minds, hundreds of them, thousands in a web, some sleepy, some sleeping, some terribly excited, one fractured.
One fractured.
He passed it fleetingly and tried to feel for it again, but it eluded him like the other card with an apple on it in Pelmanism.  He felt a spasm of excitement because he knew instinctively who it was, or at least who it was he wanted it to be, and once you know what it is you want to be true, instinct is a very useful device in enabling you to know that it is.

Mostly Harmless

Now logic is a wonderful thing but it has, as the processes of evolution discovered, certain drawbacks.
Anything that thinks logically can be fooled by something else that thinks at least as logically as it does.  The easiest way to fool a completely logical robot is to feed it the same stimulus sequence over and over again so it gets locked in a loop.

Bonus quotes: 42

“Good morning,” said Deep Thought at last.
“Er… good morning, O Deep Thought,”  said Loonquawl nervously, “do you have… er, that is…”
“And answer for you?” interrupted Deep Thought majestically.  ”Yes.  I have.”
The two men shivered with expectancy.  Their waiting had not been in vain.
“There really is one?” breathed Phouchg.
“There really is one,” confirmed Deep Thought.
“To Everything?  To the great Question of Life, the Universe and Everything?”
“Yes.”
Both of the men had been trained for this moment, their lives had been a preparation for it, they had been selected at birth as those who would witness the answer, but even so they found themselves gasping and squirming like excited children.
“And you’re ready to give it to us?” urged Loonquawl.
“I am.”
“Now?”
“Now,” said Deep Thought.
They both licked their dry lips.
“Though I don’t think,” added Deep Thought, “that you’re going to like it.”
“Doesn’t matter!” said Phouchg.  ”We must know it!  Now!”
“Now?” inquired Deep Thought.
“Yes!  Now…”
“Alright,” said the computer and settled into silence again.  The two men fidgeted.  The tension was unbearable.
“You’re really not going to like it,” observed Deep Though.
“Tell us!
“Alright,” said Deep Thought.  ”The Answer to the Great Question…”
“Yes…!”
“Of Life, the Universe and Everything…” said Deep Thought.
“Yes…!”
“Is…” said Deep Thought, and paused.
“Yes…!
“Is…”
“Yes…!!!…?”
“Forty-two,” said Deep Though, with infinite majesty and calm.

 —-

“You mean that’s it?” said Ford.
“That’s it.”
“Six by nine.  Forty-two.” 
“That’s it.  That’s all there is.”